How can it be one thing?
Fellows, friends, and family, Assalamoalikum!
On July 13, 2020, I was added to a WhatsApp group named “158th Batch Amal Fellows”. Not knowing much about the emotional, heart wrenching, despairing, desponding blog I will be writing on 10th October 2020, my journey at Amal Academy started with an intro message. At first, I didn’t know that there are program facilitators and program managers at Amal Academy, therefore I thought that we have Ahmad Bhai(which I actually said in the starting conversations I had with Sir Ahmad) and Anum Baji(thank God I never said that in front of Ma’am).
Anyways, Ahmad Bhai (*Sir Ahmad) asked for a cover photo for the group and Anum Baji (* Ma’am Anum) provided a photo with an orange-colored tortilla chip (with 158 crafted on it) placed on water. Everyone introduced themselves, and as usual, being busy in my online classes I used to just open and close the group messages of this group not knowing I will be actually addicted to this group like people are addicted to cocain, opium, cigarette etc.
The journey started at the worst time of my life, I missed the orientation of the batch as I had to rush with my father to the hospital. Not making this too emotional by going into details as I already have watered my eyes, remembering the nights I spent at the hospital, the hopelessness I had grown in myself, I don’t know how I spent those days. (now Abbu is fine Allhamdulillah)
The fellows used to discuss different things in this Whatsapp group and I used to think (Yaar ye sabb itny achy han ya Amal man aa k itny achy ban gae han!). The time passed and the beautiful journey began. During the fellowship, in the 1st week I received the “Most Thoughtful Project Award!”, not knowing why I received it, as I considered that my PW was the same as all other fellows. I actually wrote this message but never sent it, to ask why I received this award.
Cutting long story short, I have witnessed many ups and downs during this fellowship. Was about to get into a heated argument with one of my beloved, humble, down-to-earth fellow on exam night, ruined many discussions, did many embarrassing things, asked many awkward questions. Got an appreciation post by my beloved program manager (man bta nai sakta us din kia feelings this meri!). Learned a lot of things and encountered life-changing experiences, heartrending stories, most inspirational personalities, and most amazing CL Sahab. (CL Sahab deserves a whole blog that will be published soon).
Most of you reading may know me from my background of university, and may know what kind of weird personality I have. Can any of you (my university mates) imagine that I sang in front of people? And you know what I learned by singing in front of people, it totally diminishes that shy factor one has in him/her. I have observed major personality traits developing in myself.
I tried to visualize and portray some of the experiences I had in this beautiful journey. When my sister got married, everyone including my father was crying, but not me. I was there to help them all to confront their feelings and stop crying. I think now I understand what it means to leave a family, a family I am willing to meet, a family I have just seen on zoom (excluding some), a family in which everyone provides reinforcement to everyone, a family having diversity no one can match, a family having Civil Engineer editing videos, a Masters student having most creative ideas, a Pharm D student having most soft and fragile heart, a Biochemist writing poetry and making sketches, a doctor having next level decency, an Electrical Engineer having a friendship with frog, a teacher with job at Zameen dot com, a program facilitator having most dynamic personality and most beautiful smile, a daughter who lost her father still continuing with fellowship and facing life like an iron lady, a biotechnologist leading group of 6 boys like an iron man.
I don’t how much I will miss you all, how odd it will be to wake up on 23rd October 2020, and not having a session, not having a reason for which I used to wait for weekends. Goodbyes are hard, but that is what life is about.